Jesus Fulfills But…

“Yeah, Jesus is the one fulfilling me, but right now I just need a friend, a hug, sex, to binge watch some netflix, new things, alcohol, a relationship, a day off, comfort food…” the list goes on. I am so guilty of finding fulfillment in everything except what Jesus supplies. These things themselves aren’t bad (in context) but the problem begins when we use earthly means to gain acceptance, fulfillment, or meaning. and I know I’ve used many of these things in Jesus’ place before.

I’ve been writing about this whole “Jesus is enough” thing a lot lately in different ways, but I guess maybe it just needs to be said or maybe I’m just not getting it. Because I’m guilty. Guilty of saying “if I just had _____ then me and Jesus would be good”. A relationship with Jesus isn’t to receive the blessings that He can give us. It should be about receiving Jesus. Period. His love alone…what a prize that we don’t deserve. I think I’ve lived out my relationship with Christ just expecting that He would bless me, but really all I should be expecting in my relationship with Him is to have Jesus. I believe that The Lord does bless me, I know this by the people He’s put in my life, and the roof over my head, and the fact that I can even go to college. But I think that I’ve become so expectant that when things aren’t going all right and I’m not getting what I presume I need, I come up with this idea that God has left me, that He owes me somehow. That’s sort of the opposite. We should be faithful and grateful in little and faithful and grateful in much, completely regardless of the reward we feel here on earth.

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much… {Luke 16:10a}

In my neediness for affection, for a feeling, or physical, worldly things, I’m losing out on the provision of Jesus. Because not only does He offer all of the things I so earnestly search for, His is better, His actually heals, calms, provides, loves, is gentle and patient with me, and is not destructive. But instead, I choose netflix, I choose friends, I choose a feeling, I choose to hold this grudge against God for what He hasn’t provided. When really, He’s already done so. He provided everything we could ever need when He sent us Jesus and He didn’t even owe us any of it.

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. {Colossians 1:17}

I’ve recently found that I have been unintentionally filling my void with netflix. I was using such a simple, harmless thing to get comfort. If I’d been feeling sad, bored, antisocial, disconnected from friends or God (among many other emotions), netflix became a way to ignore them. It became my refuge. It became an excuse for not fixing my struggling relationships with friends and even Jesus. It became a placeholder for what Scripture should be and what Jesus should be. and I think that’s wrong. So I cut it out. And as hard as it is, as dumb as it sounds, I think it’s necessary. To get rid of the things that are pulling you away from Christ. I don’t know what your thing is, but have you considered how it’s affecting your relationship with Christ? With the people around you? and maybe that means cutting it out partially or completely. But I challenge you, no matter what it is, you need to make Jesus the priority.

All I know is that it shouldn’t be so complicated to give our lives so completely to Jesus. But for some reason, I can’t release this grasping I have on everything else, the grasping I have on this world. I can’t seem to accept Christ’s wholeness, I can’t seem to understand a love like the one we have in Jesus. But I hope I soon start to. Because I’m tired of filling this Jesus-sized void with minuscule, idiotic things that can never fill me, that leave me wanting more. I want Jesus. I want more of Jesus. and I pray that you and I can stop desiring so much empty stuff and instead be able to without hesitation, simply say “Jesus fulfills”

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