Learning to Praise God, Even Here

I wrestle with disappointment. I internalize it. I also bleed it. I let it dictate me some days. I push it away some days. But it’s something that in my life, I’ve felt often and I’ve felt deeply, whether I allowed myself to express the feeling or not.

It’s too easy to lose sight of Jesus in the midst of disappointment, to feel like He’s absent just because I feel the way I do or I’m experiencing what I am. I guess that just goes to show how flaky my relationship with Jesus is. It’s like no matter how many times I see Jesus and His goodness in the middle of my circumstances, I still make the same mistake of doubting it the next time around. His goodness shouldn’t be so easy to lack trust in, it’s never-ending, doesn’t fail, doesn’t give up when we don’t meet the standard. His goodness is perfectly good.

It’s unfortunate that I let my disappointment in my earthly relationships affect the way I think my relationship with Jesus should look like, I project too many earthly things onto my almighty God. Jesus isn’t earthly. He doesn’t disappoint the way that I believe He should. My expectations seem to constantly taint Jesus’s perfection in my eyes. But my expectations can’t change Jesus’s perfection in the slightest.

Jesus frees us from disappointment.

And that’s where I come to say, we need to praise Him, we need to trust Him even here in our disappointment. Because we will never find someone less willing to disappoint us than our Jesus. I wish I could understand that better. I wish I could understand the depth of His affection for His people, for me, and understand the depth of the perfection of His nature. But instead I hold on to a belief that He wants to disappoint me by lacking goodness in my time of need.

Jesus doesn’t disappoint. He never has. He never will.

It seems scary, it seems dangerous to trust our Father out here in disappointment, in murky waters, in messy life, but He is able to supply far more freedom from disappointment than we could possibly supply on our own.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. {Psalm 34:18}

So despite how disappointed I feel. Even in this very moment, if I let Him, Jesus can use my disappointment for His glory. And that’s a choice I have to make, I can let my disappointment consume me, or I can let Jesus consume me despite my disappointment. And I believe that’s where our mindset should always be, to let Jesus be the focus of any struggle, triumph, or in between.

I think it all comes down to this; disappointment will come in this life, because we live in an imperfect generation and imperfect people are our greatest friends, we are imperfect ourselves. But show grace. Just as you’ve been shown grace. Because otherwise you’re going to be bitter, unhappy, and in a constant state of disappointment.

Luckily for us, we don’t have to come up with that grace on our own. Jesus offers it freely.  And that, right there is how to look more like Jesus, show others the grace He’s shown you, as hard as that is, as self defeating as it may have to be, as humbling as it will be, we are called to look like Christ regardless of the cost to us.

Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. {Romans 5:2}

And if you’re reading this, disappointed and defeated and feeling like I’m not giving you any practical ways to make the disappointment go away. Well, you need to release the sadness in whatever way that looks like for you, for me it’s writing or recharging around loved ones. It’s letting myself grieve for the disappointment, crying, curling up with blankets, maybe a good friend and letting myself feel it. But before any of that, you need to give it to Jesus, don’t let it turn into bitterness or resentment. Don’t let yourself drown in the disappointment and the sadness, but rather, rest in the goodness of Jesus, and in the comfort He gives.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. {1 John 5:14-15}

Pray for release from your sadness and disappointment. Pray that you’ll feel more goodness than sadness. Pray that grace abounds in you in your interactions and relationships with others. Pray that you would experience peace in times of disappointment. Pray that you have the strength to go to Jesus with your disappointment before any other place, thing, or person. Because we know, He takes us just as we are, disappointed, frustrated, angry, sad, or anything else you can dream up. He takes us literally, as we are.

Embrace the freedom from your disappointment that only Jesus can bring forth. Whole, complete freedom, peace, and joy. He won’t disappoint. He will give you peace. Just ask and wait on His unfailing goodness, that He is so willing to give to us, to persevere over your disappointment.

 

 

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